Realizing Things

aha moments from pseudo-maturity. Yellow Brick Road.

Credit: Ethel Moore

Welcome to Yellow Brick Road, an exploration of the guided path!!

This week, we’re keeping it short and sweet. I’ve been less concerned with developing new ideas and more focused on gaining new perspective on what I already know to be true. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’m called to presence more than ever and finally willing to sit in it a bit. Some might say - I’m realizing things.

You ever have a week chock-full of synchronicities? One of those weeks when you find the same topic comes up in conversation with several folks who don’t know each other, two characters on a show play out a scenario you’re currently living, and then that one song that gets you every single time comes on shuffle while you’re cleaning your room? I’ve had one of those. These moments reminded how much I’ve shifted into a position of power, of understanding, and how much of a gift maturity truly is.

When you are deeply invested in your personal fulfillment and growth, it’s easy to get caught in the cycle of making every challenge a thing. Not every habit, mistake, and growing pain is a result of pathologies, traumas, and needs to be radically transformed. Sometimes you’re just young. Sometimes you just need time, experience and maturity. This week, I made a list of things I’ve realized with maturity and have come to terms with recently:

1. Convenience is worth paying for. Get the movers, hire the task rabbit, love yourself.

2. Every single person’s perspective is limited to their own experience and we’re no better or worse for having a different one.

3. Not only is it not possible to truly change someone else; you don’t want to. You want the people in your life to choose themselves. You want the people in your life to make choices intentionally - without coercion - and you want to be one of those choices.

4. Nobody cares. Most people are not paying attention, and that is your free pass to do what makes you happy.

5. Use the term friend judiciously. Labeling people appropriately defines clear roles, clear expectations, and clear boundaries. Not everyone is a friend, not everyone should be a friend, and you are a better friend when you define it well.

   

6. Emotional regulation starts with basic needs like sleep, water, and nutrition. Trying to be happy and powered by iced coffee alone are not compatible desires, babe.

7. Not communicating honest feelings, desires, and needs is self-abandonment.

8. Asking for help is the fastest way to build trust in relationships.

9. Minimizing accomplishments is not humility, but dishonesty. Stating who you are is how you find a tribe of likeness.

   

10. Everyone is deserving of an opinion, and very few people’s opinions are deserving of your attention. Trying to be right and “the teacher” in all dynamics is self-sabotage. Good teachers, masters of their craft, and people who have amazing connections are teachable.

11. Relatives are not necessarily family, but the people who are dedicated to your growth and invested in you loving yourself are.

12. The ability to safely navigate other truths with open senses and curiosity necessitates being so deeply grounded in your own.

13. When one part of your life is great, another one will probably go to shit and it’s not because of luck or because you “can’t have it all” - it’s because change is constant and where we neglect to put our energy inevitably calls for our attention again and it’s all gonna be fine.

    

14. Everything you value greatly in someone else is begging to be claimed by you.

15. Buy a bigger size. Sizes are fake.