You're Not Bad At Meditating. Do it!
5 ways to sit with yourself without actually...sitting. Yellow Brick Road.
Welcome to Yellow Brick Road, an exploration of the guided path!!
Debunking meditation
Before you resign to the idea that you’re bad at meditating, consider what meditation actually is, how many ways you can find it, and why arbitrary conditions for “good meditation” are irrelevant to the benefits of the practice. As long as you find mindfulness, you are in meditation. You can be moving, you can be listening to audio, you can be chopping veggies, you can be drawing, and as long as you are able to turn down the volume on anxiety, fear, and worry and turn the volume up on your inner voice, you got it baby.
Just to set some things straight: Clearing your mind is not a thing. You don’t have to sit. You don’t need it to be silent. You’re not bad at meditation because you still have thoughts. The curse of consciousness and being a real human is constantly thinking. Observing those thoughts, observing your attachments and emotional reactions to those thoughts, and allowing space for grace is the entire point of meditation. It doesn’t matter where you are when you do it, how long you do it, or what your body is doing while you do it - the point is to just do it. You can’t be bad at meditating; you just might need to find and honor a form of mindfulness that actually works for you.
Alternative methods work too!
My brain turns a dedicated routine into an obsessive tendency or “yet another obligation I’ve failed,” so I seldom dedicate myself to any rigorous schedule. When I started incorporating my relationship with Spirit - also known as my ancestors, guides, and my very own intuition - into a dedicated practice, the “practice” part was a challenge. I needed to meditate, and I loved meditating but didn’t feel inspired to do it the same way, same time, and same length. I needed to find my pocket of peace, but sitting criss-cross applesauce for 30-40 minutes at a time every single day was not going to work for me long term. Instead of beating myself up about it, I worked on finding mindfulness alternatives to traditional meditation that are equally as “meditative” and may be more useful to whoever is reading this:
Guided meditations!!!!!!!!! So many exclamations because they are really good and are not any less special or dedicated than a silent meditation!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are many yoga studios that offer group, teacher-led meditation classes so look that up in your neighborhood if it’s an option. If not, there are so many great apps, playlists, and sites to get a good guided meditation when you need one. When my monkey mind is really taking over, guided meditations lead me to a place of quiet that my own imagination is too overwhelmed to find alone. I love this YouTube creator Kenneth Soares, who is admittedly a weirdo white man with dreads, but creates a bangin’ and moving experience nonetheless.
I really love the Hay House channel on Spotify. There are hundreds of meditations, some of which are no longer than 5 minutes - because even 5 minutes is enough if that’s what you got.
This is also a great playlist right on Spotify.
Cooking - Yeah, I know this one is not for everybody and some people find cooking to be a source of stress because there’s expectation of taste, turnout, etc, but if you are someone who loves to cook and loves to cook intuitively, allotting a meal or two a week to just do your thing while listening to some instrumental jazz is tantamount to astral projection in my humble opinion.
I find that not following recipes, listening to gut instinct, and allowing your intuition to guide you through creating something you can physically enjoy (and having the delight of actually producing a yummy meal) is a really beautiful grounding practice to get back into your body and away from your inner critic.
Walking - I’ve written entire chapters of a memoir while going on a solo walk without my phone. My ideas flow through me like a direct channel from an ethereal realm, grounding messages into reality. At least, that’s what it feels like.
I talk about walking A LOT in this newsletter because it is one of the few ways I feel close to god regularly. I really mean that. I leave my phone at home, put on my finest HOKAs, and hit the pavement for an hour or so, and I’m able to access a quiet space every time. Sometimes I put my phone on Do Not Disturb and listen to hZ frequency meditations.
Like cooking or yoga, the connection to the body is the key to this mindfulness practice, especially for very mercurial people who have a hard time getting out of their minds and into their hearts. The focus on the breath, hearing your feet pitter-patter in the sidewalk, noticing your thought patterns and letting them pass. It’s holy - I’m telling you.
Breathwork/Conscious Breathing - When we’re stressed and in crisis/trauma, we literally forget to breathe. Breath is life energy; re-engaging it is powerful. When I feel really tense and start storing a lot of overwhelm in my muscles, it is really challenging to sit for meditation. I’ll often do a breathwork exercise to prime for 15-20 minutes of seated, silent meditation, though it is a mindfulness practice in itself. Try these to get started:
These two have incredible technique and have over 300 videos on their channel.
Cleaning! Yes, cleaning is active rest for many.
It is also a really strong manifestation tool for clearing out stagnant or cluttered energy, and way to tell the Universe you’re ready for more. Even ten minutes of cleaning out your junk draw, dusting shelves, or organizing your shoes is enough to engage a mindless task and clear out some mental clutter while clearing out physical clutter. My ADHD mind has a hard time doing this for long, but doing it in small chunks through the week can be soothing.
The benefit of all of these activities lies in intention. If you intend to be with yourself, you will. I hope these resources helped or at least guided you to something you’ve never tried before. Like always, I am here to remind you that what works for “everyone” seldom actually works for anyone and returning back to center/finding your inner voice is not supposed to involve an impossible test of dedication. Showing up is enough to get started. Always enough.
In true Aquarian fashion, I’ve found that most of what is sold as spirituality is just repackaged groupthink and gatekeeping that defeats its own purpose. Because everything is spiritual, I’ve managed to find my own pockets of peace, and I thought I’d share some opportunities for you to discover yours.
P.s. The ego will always telling you you’re not “good” at things that have no inherent grade or rating system, but are beneficial for that exact reason - stop listening.